Blog - Roscoe Goes to Europe

Details: Written by: Mike Borsch; Category: Blog; Published: 26 September 2023; Hits: 150

The following is a blog from Roscoe on the trials and tribulations from his perspective on the hockey exploits in Germany and Austria in the fall of 2023

Thank you for your interest in Team Canada 60+ as we participate in the World Cup of Hockey 2023 this week here in Germany and Austria.

The tournament kicked off with our appearance yesterday at Oktoberfest in Munich. Team Canada led the way with over 10 hours of non-stop drinking from very heavy 1-litre mugs.

Today was recovery and travel day. We are on the ice tonight with two mini-exhibition games against Team Germany and Team USA East (somehow they were allowed two teams) in Kaufbeuren, Germany. I made this team based on largely on my reputation of speed and good looks, so tonight is my first chance to impress the coaches.

One of our teammates showed up at Pearson airport in a wheelchair with a blown knee, so already I have been promoted to the second line.
Our first tournament Game is Wednesday morning in Zell-am-see, Austria. I will keep you posted on our progress.

Attached are two photos showing our two waitresses serving a hundred pounds of beer each, and an overall shot of the Hofbrau Haus. We are in there somewhere…..

Well, things got off to a rather rough start in our two-game exhibition series in Kaufburen, Germany. Our first game was a 3-0 loss against host Team Germany, followed by a 5-2 shellacking against Team USA East.

Our team collectively looked old, fat and slow. We may be in over our heads. Unless we smarten up, we risk becoming the doormats of the tournament.
I think the key to victory for us boils down to one thing:

We need to stop drinking.

Most of the team drank beer for 10 non-stop hours at Oktoberfest, then wondered why no one has any zip.
Last night didn't help either. Team Germany held a lovely reception in a pub built in 1252 following the two games. It was complete with all the food and beer your could drink. Sadly our team took ample opportunity of all of the freebies, and once again we were the last to leave, staggering into the hotel at 2:00am.

Today thankfully is a travel day, perhaps allowing these loogans to dry up. We embark shortly on a 4-hour trip through Garmish and the Alps to our next game tomorrow morning at Zell-Am-See, Austria.

Wednesday

It was a spectacular 4 to 6-hour drive from Kaufbeuren, Germany to Zell Am See, Austria through the Alps depending if you took the scenic route or not.

Since our game this morning was the Tournament Opening Game at 6:00am, generally the boys behaved themselves for a change last night with only a minimum of alcoholic intake. But it’s hard to do. For example, I thought I was being a good boy by ordering a diet Coke, but the price was €4.40. A beer was only €3.00. Beer is clearly considered a mandatory food group around here.

On the ice this morning our team showed a bit more zip. Personally, I thought I skated well. But sadly we came out on the short end of a 6-3 game against Team USA South.

We were badly outclassed and outshot, with only the heroic efforts of our goalie keeping it respectable.

There’s lots of good players here. With an average age of 67, we give up 5 years to most 60+ teams. It makes a big difference.

We will have to be at our best in our next game against Team Switzerland tomorrow at 1:00pm.

Good tickets are still available…..

Roscoe

Thursday

Following yesterday’s early morning 6:00am loss, most of the team embarked on a 3 1/2 hour walk around Lake Zell. It’s a 4km long, 2km wide freshwater lake with Zell Am See protruding into the middle, all some 750 meters above sea level.

I figured the long walk would be good for the team as it tired most everyone out, with a early evening after our team dinner.

But it was not to be. While we were in it early on, penalty troubles left us in disarray and we suffered a 4-1 loss to Team Switzerland. The loss was typical of Canadian oldtimer hockey: blame being passed amongst other players in addition to the refs.

This eliminates us from championship contention. We now are forced to play out the string tomorrow against Team Finland and Saturday against Team USA East.

Upon further review, maybe we should wholeheartedly embrace the philosophies of the local pro team, the Zell Am See Bears, and that is……Beer!! I’ve attached a photo of their mascot. Maybe the bear has it right after all….

Friday

I’m getting a little tired of writing the same message, but here goes:

After falling behind early and running into penalty trubbel, Team Canada falls to Team Finland by a score of 5-3. This loss assures us of finishing DFL in the championship.

What makes it even worse is that we close out the tournament tomorrow against Team USA who are undefeated and feature a NHL practice goalie on their roster. It’s shaping up to be a shellacking of biblical proportions. Maybe we can buck the trend. We’ll see.

It’s a good thing that our hotel is five-star, the guys on the team are a lot of fun and Zell Am See is unbelievably picturesque, because if we had to rely solely on quality of hockey. our vacation would be a dismal failure.

Here’s your souvenir Team Canada photo. I would be pleased to autograph it upon my return…

Saturday - Sunday

Yesterday’s excursion was a road trip up the Glockner glacier. You get there by driving the scenic High Alpine Road, which took 6 years to build, has over 200 switchbacks, 76 bridges and very few guardrails. If you aren’t on your game as a driver, you can easily plummet hundreds of feet to your death.

Upon returning to Zell Am See, we sure were up against lots of adversity in our final game.

We were scheduled to play the undefeated Team USA East, who not only had to beat us in order to advance, but had to beat us by 12 goals or more due to the tie-breaker rule.

Secondly, we became aware that their goalie is a registered emergency backup goalie of the Seattle Kraken of the NHL. Just wonderful.

And finally, our #1 centre Mike Borsch was not feeling well, tested positive for Covid, and could not play.

We were ready for a shellacking. Well, we performed as expected. Team Canada went down to our 4th consecutive defeat by a score of 5-0. A moral victory, however, as we at least did not allow Team USA East to score the 12 goals they needed to advance.

We then closed our the tournament by traveling to a 13th century medieval castle for the awards presentation and party. At least by all accounts Team Canada won the party!

In acknowledgment of our stellar 0-4 tournament record, we were presented with Participation medals. It’s funny how life has gone full circle: I won plenty of Participation medals as a kid, and now I am winning them again. In fact I have a bedroom full of Participation medals. I am sick of Participation medals. I’m a little short on Gold medals.

There was some controversy over the age of the team photo I included yesterday. I may have inadvertently attached a team photo from 1995. I’ll try again.

We travelled back to Munich today for one last crack at Oktoberfest. It continues to amaze me how well behaved people are, what with several thousand people jammed into a tent for 10 hours of relentless drinking. If that happened in Toronto, there would be people puking, fighting, shooting and stabbing each other. Instead, there were many happy family moments, like the picture I have attached of a father buying a beer mug floaty balloon for his 6-year old son. You just can’t start them off too early.

So thats’s a wrap for my Team Canada update series. There are going to have to big changes in order for this team to effectively compete in the coming years. We can’t change all the players, so maybe we have to change coaches and management…..

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